Friday, October 29, 2010

Thoughts To Get You Through A Crisis!

  • Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  • There is always one more S.O.B. than you counted on.
  • If you ever find something you like, buy a lifetime supply, 'cause they'll stop making it.
  • All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
  • You can't tell which way the train went, by looking at the tracks.
  • Be kind!  Everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle.
  • This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
  • The is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
  • By the time you can make ends meet, the ends have been moved.
  • Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
  • Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  • Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
  • The facts, though interesting, are irrelevant.
  • The world gets a little better every day, and worse in the evening . . . just watch the news.
  • The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
  • Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
  • Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
  • Things are more like they are today than they have ever been before.
  • The other line always moves faster, until you get into it.
  • Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
  • Everything should be made simple as possible, but no simpler.
  • Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
  • It's hard to be nostalgic, when you can't remember anything.
  • I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
  • To live forever, acquire a chronic disease and take care of it.
  • Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
  • If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
  • If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
  • One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
  • The more you run over a dead cat the flatter it gets.
  • It takes a big dog to weigh a ton.
  • And, you don't screw around with a momma that can whoop ya . . . ask the guy in the photo.

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