I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline.
I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told the listener I was feeling suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
When I told my friend about it, he said, "Ya, it's bad, so bad that . . .
- my neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail
- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen
- Wives are having sex with their husbands, because they cannot afford batteries
- I saw a Mormon with only one wife
- If the bank returns your check marked 'insufficient funds', you call to verify, you or them
- Angelina adopted a child from the United States
- My cousin had an exorcism, but couldn't pay for it, so they re-possessed her
- A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico
- The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vega is now managed by Somali pirates
- And, CEOs are now playing miniature golf