The 'Stratocrapper'

I've discovered, during the past couple years, that anything goes when building a cigar box guitar, and it doesn't necessarily require that a cigar box be used in the creation of a pretty cool instrument.  All that is required is a little creativity and a lot of imagination.

So, while taking a 'john' timeout, my imagination was wandering from one wild-assed (no pun intended) thing to another, and the thought occured to me that a toilet seat would make a great 'plank' guitar . . . it's shaped right; feels good when it should; some are made of wood, so construction would be easy; and it would be cool as hell (an oxymoron).

Off to Lowes I went in search of the perfect toilet seat.  It had to be wood, preferably oak, and it had to have a brass hinge arrangement.

I found just what I wanted, paid the lady, and beat feet out of the store . . . I bet they were wondering why I was in such a hurry with a toilet seat under my arm . . . they just didn't know the real mission I had in mind.

When my wife saw my new $30 prize, she asked, "Why are we replacing a toilet seat?"  "We aren't!," I said.  "Well, why did you buy that thing," she said.  Excited as all get out, I said, "I'm gonna make a guitar!"  She looked at me, rolled her eyes, and said, "What?"  "Ya," I said, "It'll be a hoot!, and I'm calling it the 'Stratocrapper!"  To this, she didn't have a response, only a thousand yard stare, and walked away.

Off to the workshop I went.  It didn't take me long to decide what I would do with the Fender six-string neck I had on the shelf.  I took the seat apart, swapped the pieces around so the lid was the back and the seat was the front, attached the two pieces together, and measured twice and cut once (the recommended Rockler Woodworking approach) so the neck would fit just right on my new guitar body.

Now, what to do about electronics, 'cause this rig was not set up for acoustics.  Let your mind wander just a bit and I'm sure you can imagine the sound produced from a toilet seat . . . didn't want those acoustics.  ;-)

I created a box from a hollowed out piece of oak, with laminated Spanish cedar top, which would carry the pickups and the bridge, while hiding the wires in the routed channel below.  Next, I designed another cedar piece to rest on the seat ring, which would hold the controls recessed into another routed channel.  The electro parts were gathered and I commenced to put a wire harness together, which would fit the channels and openings in the covers.  All this didn't take long, thanks to the handy, dandy tools and layout in my shop.

Once the fabrication and fitting of pieces was completed, it was on to design.  The oak lid would remain golden, but the seat would be stained a very dark ebony for contrast with the lid and other wood parts, and to tie the neck and body together.  The hand painted graphic on the back speaks for itself, and the logo on the headstock finished the job.

My nine-year-old granddaughter Maggie saw the finished guitar yesterday, while visiting us for Halloween treats, and said, "Grandpa is that a toilet seat made into a guitar?"  When I said it was in fact a toilet seat, she howled, "Seriously, a toilet seat!"  "Seriously, did someone sit on it?!"  "Oh, no, I can't believe you would make a guitar out of a toilet seat!"  I didn't tell her it was new and unblemished, hee, hee.  I wonder what she'll say when she sees the bedpan guitar I'm gonna make. 

Here it is.  The 'Stratocrapper'.  What do you think?  I'll probably get a letter from Fender Guitars saying I must cease and desist in using 'strato' in the name, since they seem to be on a recent lawsuit mission scolding all the folks referencing 'strato' anything . . . look out weatherman, when you mention the stratosphere.

Hello George!

"The Impala'

I was cruising through the swap meet a couple months ago and happened upon an ol' gal peddling car emblems.  So, being the gearhead that I am, I stopped to look.  These weren't beat up old emblems, they were really nice stuff.

Normally, she was asking $10-$30 for each piece for the old stuff, but I managed to wheel and deal with her, and after learning that I send guitars to servicemen/women, she made me a sweet deal on a bunch of emblems.  I didn't tell her that not all my guitars go overseas . . . but, she didn't ask, so I didn't tell . . . military standard, don'cha know.

Long story short, I walked away with a dozen or so shiney pieces that I was sure would work nicely on the box of a guitar.

After building a couple other CBGs, I got to the car parts and 'The Impala' hit the road first.  It's a straightaway electro/acoustic three-string using an Oliva cigar box for the basis.  Damn, I like the sound produced from this box.  It resonates very well acoustically, and the sustain is awesome for such a little box. It's rivaled by the Padron and Cohiba, but in my opinion it is the best. 

Take a look and tell me what you think.

'LaGloria II'

Several months ago, I happened onto a really cool LaGloria cigar box, which I turned into a CBG.  It's featured here on my site, if you're interested.

A week or so ago, I popped into my favorite smoke shop to see Jeff, and staring at me from a stack of empty cigar boxes was the sister to the 'LaGloria'.  I couldn't leave the Burning Leaf  without that box.

The 'LaGloria II' is a three string electro/acoustic, like her sister, but not quite as shapely.  She does, however have the same deep chocolate color with a little honey tossed in for an attractive and distinguishable appearance.  Her mellow sound can make a fella play hard and groan loud.

Since this box opens from the center, I used clasps at the front and back of the box to keep the lids in place. 

The oval sound hole covers are from a ladies belt, which I picked up at a flea market.  I think they add the right touch to the overall appearance of the box and complement the oval LaGloria logo.

It's A dog's Life!

This is so funny, you gotta see it.   Enjoy.

Two dogs go into a restaurant for a meal, and the rest is history.

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=EVwlMVYqMu4&vq=medium#t=125

Probably The Best Quote, Ever!

I hope all of my wealthy friends and acquaintances read this, and that they decide the tax breaks they've been enjoying for years should be elimninated, and that they should encourage Congress to accept Obama's tax proposal on big business, so they can start paying their fair share, NOW! 

Can You Believe This Crap?!

In their most infinite wisdom, the Ohio Legislature passed a bill, which recently went into effect, that allows anyone with a 'conceal carry' permit to pack their hidden firearm into a bar or restaurant, any bar, anytime!

A stipulation in the law is that the 'packer' cannot drink alcohol, and the bar owner/tender is the one responsible for ensuring the 'packer' isn't drinking.  Between pouring a whiskey sour and a black Russian, the bartender must determine who is carrying and drinking, and to be the one to tell the armed guy he cannot have the drink he ordered.  Yup, I think that will surely happen . . . and I believe in the tooth fairy, too!

Jesus Christ (there I go, praying again), are non-gun-toting patrons going to be subjected to a search now, when they enter a bar or restaurant, simply because some asshole thinks he needs to carry a weapon to protect himself.

What?  Are they all nuts?!   Mixing bullets with booze is a recipe for disaster!

Oh, I know, all the gun nuts I know, and those I don't know, will throw a fit if they read this or hear that I'm criticizing the decision.  They will cry that they have a right to bear arms.  OK, I get that.  I just don't agree with hidden guns, any time, any place.  If they're so gawd damn afraid of their shadows, perhaps they should hide in their basements or bathrooms, and let us less fearsome individuals walk the streets and visits establishments without wondering when someone will whip out their sixshooter to start settling old scores.

But, I don't give a damn what they think, the conceal carry law is clearly a bad decision, and letting anyone, but a cop, carry a concealed weapon is lunacy.   But, the decision is political, and the NRA has an enormous lobby, so our good political whores are selling out for the gun nut vote.

Try this on for my reasoning.  A 60-something-year-old woman was filling her car with gas a couple weeks ago in a neighboring community, when the gun she was carrying slipped out of it's holster, fell to the ground, discharged, and shot her in the leg.  What if she had been sitting on her whoopee cushion eating an egg-Mac-muffin, when this happened and someone else got shot.  What then?  I suppose her excuse would be that she feared that crazy looking Ronald McDonald.

It's not Bubba the beer drinking redneck that scares hell out of me, you know he's got a gun, it's in the back window of his pick-em-up truck.  It's the half wit scared shit less, by the lame brain media, with no understanding of firearms, who thinks they can protect themselves from the bogey man with a gun, who I'm concerned about.

Perhaps, the gun toter should be required to declare he/she is carrying a concealed weapon upon entering a public place, and be required to wear a visible badge of declaration.  I'll bet that would be good for the economy and the business, as the non-toting folks hastily beat feet for the nearest exit.  How would the NRA explain that economic misfortune?

OR Doc Nicki Likes Her Git

Here is Nicki, an OR Doc at Bastion Hospital in Afghanistan, with her new guitar.  She wrote me that she likes it a lot and plays it when she has time, and when others  in the OR are not fooling around with it. 

This is a photo of Nicki preparing for an everyday 'picnic' of MREs.  If things aren't bad enough in the 'Stan, they get to eat packaged meals on a regular basis.  And we hear people complain stateside about their own personal crap! 

Holly

I mentioned in a previous post that my friend Jim has always been interested in horses and that he continues to be involved in raising world class Quarter Horses at his Albuquerque, NM home.  This is a photo of Holly, who recently won a reining competition.  Beautiful little filly, don't you think?  Congrats, Jim.

'Spider-Man'

Nearly sixty years ago, my friend Marv cut my hair on a regular weekly basis.  He is the only guy I've ever met who could cut a 'flat-top', and do it right, so that it was 'flat', and not the military round over.  Thanks, Marv, you were 'da man!

I lost track of Marv after I married and started my career.  Marv also married (a gorgeous gal from our high school -- I have no idea how he trapped her), and moved to the left coast to operate a chain of barber shops.  Through the magic of the Internet and email, Marv and I reconnected a month ago, thanks to my other friend Jim.

Needless to say, my hair has been longer for a whole lotta years, because I moved away.

Marv saw my web site and asked me to make a guitar for his 7-year-old grandson Steven, who is nuts about Spider-Man.  Gramps bought Steven a regular size guitar, but he's too small to play it, so a CBG is just the ticket.

I shipped the 'Spider-Man' today, and I cannot wait to hear what the reaction is from Steven.  I bet he wets his pants, when he sees the cover of the box.

It's a straight-forward three-string acoustic tuned to the top three strings on a regular git (G-B-e), so it is easy to chord using the basic guitar chords, and leaving off the notes for the 6-5-4 strings. 

I played it last night, like I do each guitar I create, and it sounds really good.  So, I'm probably as happy as Steven will be.

Take a look, and let me know what you think.

Here is Steven with his new guitar.

The 'Iron Cross' for Cpl. Chase

Cpl. Ryan Chase is stationed in Kandahar Province, Afghanistan and he asked me to build him a three-string electro/acoustic guitar, which he could play with a slide. He also wanted an amp that would carry the 'Iron Cross' theme, and blow a little sound around, while rockets are exploding around his station.

So, I chose an Oliva cigar box for the guitar and inserted a walnut neck with maple fingerboard.  Sound holes are cut in the shape of the iron cross, and I applied a large iron cross graphic to the back of the box.  String action is a little more spacey than usual to accommodate the slide, and it's tuned to open-G (G-D-g) so he can easily play hundreds of songs.

The 'Iron Cross' amp is a compact Saint Luis Rey cigar box with GuitarFuel harness.  The speaker opening is screen backed in the form of a cross, and stylized crosses decorate the sides of the box.

If You Wonder Why We're There!

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have been long and painful.  Many innocent lives have been lost.  And, there are times when it is difficult to fully understand.

But, if you wonder why we're there, all you need to do is to view the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W86jlvrG54o

YO!  Read This!

Let's Be Friends,

Before You Read Any Further!

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I'm Back at It!

I ripped through the Stieg Larsson trilogy, (a great read, 1500+ pages), so that I could get back to building guitars and amps, but that lasted about 15 minutes.

The phone rang and it was Mark, my Marco Photo buddy, asking me if I could help shoot school photos for a couple days.  Well, couple, like in two, was not to be . . . it's more like a couple months.  Oh well, it's fun and I get paid, too.  So nothin' to bitch about, right.  It's real, and it's fun, it just isn't 'real fun'.

In the spare time, I've been working on a guitar and amp for a serviceman in the 'Stan, and a guitar for my friend's grandson, who lives in Seattle.

If my knees and feet hold up from the photo shoot grind, and the beer doesn't get flat waiting to be drunk in the workshop, I'll have the orders shipped out by the end of the week . . . then, it's on to more real fun . . . building more guitars and amps.

Let Us Not Forget

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.  And, I won't forget to start again, with just my children and my wife.  I'd thank my lucky stars, to be living here today, 'Cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can't take that away.

And, I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.  And, I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.  I'd gladly stand up ... next to you and defend her still today.  'Cause there ain't no doubt, I love this land.  I love the USA.

Remember!

Down Time

I read a lot, probably 25-30 or more novels a year, mostly mysteries - good mysteries - and it has recently gotten in the way of building guitars and amps.

My son Jay turned me onto a trilogy, by author Stieg Larsson, which I had lightly considered every time I passed through Barnes & Noble.  But, I couldn't get my head around the titles, which goes to show that 'you can't judge a book by it's cover'.

I was in the middle of a guitar build the other day, when Jay happened by to say hello and to drop off one of the titles in question for me to explore.  Bad timing.  I cracked the binding on 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo', and the rest is history . . . I have not completed the 'Spiderman' guitar for my little friend in Seattle.  I'm sorry Steven, but I promise to getter done soon.

If you like a good mystery, then you must read the Stieg Larsson trilogy.  It's a wide-eyed, coffee gulping, page turning, all-night adventure worth every minute you spend with it, maybe several nights, if you're a slow reader.

The language is a little rough in spots, but I'll leave the judgments to you the reader.  All I will say is that I think the plot far overshadows any of the profanity.  This is better than anything written recently by Grisham, Patterson, or any of the other novel-by-the-minute-for-money writers on the NYT best sellers list.

If you try it and don't agree, tell someone else, 'cause I don't want to hear it.

Jimmy V's 'Pantie Dropper'

I dropped into the Burning Leaf Cigar Shop last week to say hello to Jeff and to pick up a couple boxes for future amps and guitars, and while there I made a new friend, Valter, who owns Jimmy V's Grill & Pub a block away.

Valter asked me to make a guitar for him.  We kicked the idea around and settled on a design, which at the time was a little different than what I finally created.  Valter really liked the 'Pantie Dropper', which I built for myself, and asked if he could buy it.  When I told him that it was not for sale, and that this particular box design was rare and no longer available, he decided something else would be just fine, so long as it was designed with the business logo. 

I got home and thought about it and decided to part with the 'Pantie Dropper', so that Valter would be able to enjoy it.  Some things are just meant to be, right?

The TotalRojo Guitars 'Jimmy V's Pantie Dropper' is a set neck, three-string, electro/acoustic guitar designed around a rare and old Oliva cigar box, which is no longer in production, and is perfectly shaped for a guitar.

The neck is oak with a walnut stained maple fretboard with stainless frets, which are hand set and dressed.  The 25.25" scale matches my Martin acoustic guitar.  BBs (my usual touch) are inlaid on the side of the neck to mark the critical fret locations.  Gotoh-type tuners stretch the 5-4-3 strings, from a regular 10-46 gauge set, over brass nut and saddle, from a tailpiece made from a silver spoon I stole from my wife's silverware collection.  (Boy, I'm in trouble! But, I believe it is much easier to receive forgiveness than permission).  I cut out the opening in the 'O' logo, on the face of the box, for a sound hole and backed it with screen to keep any varmints out and the stash in.  The output jack bezel, made from a metal sliding door thingy, is attached inside the box to a Piezo transducer for amplification (it's always a little noisy, when amped, but it's what one expects from a Piezo).  I tuned it to open G tuning (G-D-g), which offers great versatility for lots of songs.

To finish off the design, and to satisfy Valter's request, I burned the Jimmy V's logo into the back of the box and finished the entire guitar with Poly.  A little guitar wax, and it's ready to rock.

The sound is really cool, somewhere between a guitar and a banjo, and the volume and sustain, when played acoustically, is awesome and much greater than one would expect from a little cigar box. 

Yes, Valter, when you light this up in the bar at Jimmy V's, the girls panties are gonna drop right off.

------------------------

Attached here are photos today of Valter receiving his new guitar at Jimmy V's in Columbus, Ohio. 

If you have the opportunity, drop by Jimmy V's Grill & Pub, on South High Street in German Village, for a lunch, dinner, or a drink.  It's a great place, with even greater social personality.  The outdoor patio is so comfortable, and Valter will make you feel right at home . . . I guarantee it!  You will not be sorry for stopping by.  And, tell him Jess sent you.

Thank You Irene!

It's a matter of perspective.

Hurricane Irene screwed up my weekend plans, but I learned a long time ago, that for every action there is an opposite reaction, and a person just has to have the right attitude.  It's kinda like looking for a pony in a crib full of horse manure!

So what's the big deal, you ask?

Well, I decided, since the trip to York was off, to drop into my favorite cigar shop, Burning Leaf, to say hello to Jeff, and to pick up a box or three.  Jeff wasn't there, but I met a new friend, Valter, who just happens to own Jimmy V's Grill & Pub, a cool little place a block away.  Valter was quizing me about the guitars I build, and asked if I would build one for him, featuring the pub. 

Of course, I said yes.  We shook hands, and the rest is history.  I took off to create a guitar for Valter.  How's that for turning a situation around?

Thank you Irene!  You're a nasty little girl, but you couldn't keep a good man down.  And, thank you Valter!

Stay tuned for a peek at the Jimmy V's guitar in a couple days.

Irene Screwed Up My Weekend!

I was all set to head out this morning for York, PA to enjoy the York Fest and the annual Cigar Box Guitar Festival, but Hurricane Irene changed my plans.

The weather service assured me that I would be spending the weekend in a progressively worsening weather condition . . . rain, more rain, severe wind, and more rain.  So, I opted to drop the plan.  Who needs to drive six-and-a-half hours to experience the effects of a hurricane? 

Not me.  Been there and done that.  I remember too well the effects of Hurricane Bonnie when it hit southeast Texas back in the mid-eighties.  We survived it with no major damage, but I saw a very large tree in my neighbors yard fall and take off the end of his two-story house, while he stood there in his undies watching things collapse around him.

Geez, I'm gonna miss seeing friends and hearing a lot of great music.  Oh well, there's next year to look forward to.

It's So Depressing!

The US financial condition and the economic recession has hit everyone so hard, and it is so depressing.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline.

I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told the listener I was feeling suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

When I told my friend about it, he said, "Ya, it's bad, so bad that . . .

• my neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail
• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen
• Wives are having sex with their husbands, because they cannot afford batteries
• I saw a Mormon with only one wife
• If the bank returns your check marked 'insufficient funds', you call to verify, you or them
• Angelina adopted a child from the United States
• My cousin had an exorcism, but couldn't pay for it, so they re-possessed her
• A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico
• The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vega is now managed by Somali pirates
• And, CEOs are now playing miniature golf

Bastion Hospital Gets Another CBG

US Navy Corpsman Nicki Tarant requested a CBG, and I'm glad that I'm the person chosen to provide her with it.

Like all of the folks at Bastion Hospital, whom I've had the opportunity to build guitars for, Nicki doesn't make any demands, she just would like a guitar.  Well, Nicki, yours will be on the way Monday.

It's a three-string electro/acoustic ready for you to start playing.  As an accomplished six-string player, you'll have no trouble making this little TotalRojo rascal romp.

Perhaps you can form a 'Sand Band' with LT Virginia Sullivan, Chuck Setzer, and Brittany Saulsberry, along with some others who have received guitars from builders on CigarBoxNation.    q;-)   Please say hello to them for me.

Life at Bastion is not 'cake walk', and the daily pressure of treating traumatic injuries can take a toll on the best, and my friends there are THE BEST!  If I can bring a little pleasure to them in the form of a musical instrument, then I consider it the least I can do to thank them for keeping me safe here at home.

Four-string Bound For Kuwait

Tomorrow, I'll ship a four-string electro/acoustic guitar to another courageous serviceman, Navy Petty Officer Jeff Noack, who is stationed in Kuwait.

Jeff wrote me recently that it is the hottest place he has ever been stationed . . . '130 degrees on a regular basis.'

Perhaps a little cigar box blues will take his mind off the heat.

Thanks Jeff, for keeping us safe here at home!  And, say hello to Laban Thompson.

The 'Wide Dinger'

Annually, my son Jay hosts a Father's Day ride for all his road bike buddies, from near and far.  Guys and gals of all ages show up in their Spandex finery to sit on a razor blade-wide seat, on an expensive, skinny-tired, twelve-pound bicycle, to ride in a non-supported 35-, 65-, or 75-mile trek through hill and dale of central Ohio.  It's known affectionately as the 'Peckerhead Ride'.  I wonder why?

In a prior post, I wrote about the 'Peckerhead Guitar' that I created for Jay to show off at this year's event.

Well, after the ride, some of the guys were sitting around admiring the little three-string git, and questioning me about it.  During the conversation, the subject of battery-powered mini-amps came up.  I explained that phenomenon to the group, while they were giving me blank stares . . . 'little' guitars and 'mini' amps are to hard-core peddlers, what bathing and clean clothes are to a Harley rider . . . a mystery.

But, out of the crowd came a comment that got my attention.  Jay's friend Tom Weidinger told me he had an old radio in his shed that he thought I might like for an amp.  I tried to pay him for it, but his wife Jenny said no . . . I like a level-headed woman.  

Geez, I jumped on that like a wino on a jug of Thunderbird. 

The old tube-driven radio works had to be removed, and the speaker cloth replaced.  I added a back panel with access door to cover the cavity which was originally open for the careless tinkerer to be electrocuted.  Then I installed a GuitarFuel amp harness, using two of the original radio knobs for controls and the other knobs are there to make it look original.  An input jack is tucked in the outside corner, and voila, I got a cool not-so-little amp.

Here's the finished blower, which I call the 'Wide Dinger', named after my friend Tom, of course.

Thanks!, Tom and Jenny.

Eddy's 3-String

HM2 Eddy Phouthaboun, a Navy Corpsman stationed at Bastion Hospital in sunny and sandy Afghanistan, recently received the San Francisco-themed guitar I made for him.

"We've been incredibly busy at the hospital lately," Eddy writes, "and it just just leaves me drained of all my energy.  I just want to go to sleep when I get off duty, but random loud speaker announcements prevent it."

"I love the CBG, and I've learned a couple songs already.  I have it with me today at work, and I plan on practicing during my breaks.  It gives me an excuse to get up and get outside to enjoy some fresh air and blistering sun, but it's well worth it.  Thank you again so much for the CBG, I love it."

Several days ago, I checked temperatures around the world and discovered that it was 115+ in the 'Stan, with no relief in sight.  And, I can only imagine how busy they are at Bastion, with the ongoing fighting insurgents, but my new friends NEVER complain about their jobs.  I think many of us could learn something from them.

Thanks, Eddy, and all the others, for what you are doing!

I Swore I'd Never Write Anything Political, But the Current Debt Craziness Must Be Addressed

Please call your Senator(s) and Congressmen(women) to ask that they set aside their petty political differences, to do what is right for America.  They must raise the debt ceiling now, to avoid financial default.

This is not about Democratic or Republican blame games. It's about unilaterally DOING THE RIGHT THING! NOW!

Ask them to support the President's proposal, which will keep our Nation from debt default and financial collapse.

-----------------------------------------------

I wonder why it is so difficult for some politicians to grasp the concept of asking large corporations and wealthy Americans to pay their fair share?  Why shouldn't they be taxed appropriately, when compared to middle-class Americans.

It's not difficult to figure out - all you need is to be smarter than a fifth grader. 

Politicians are owned by big business, and controlled by lobbyists.

You gotta laugh to keep from crying!  So, enjoy what Warren Buffett (probably the most honest and intelligent wealthy American you'll ever meet) has to say about it . . .

Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offered one of the best quotes I've heard in all this drama about the debt ceiling:

"I could end the deficit in five minutes," he told Becky Quick.  "You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP (Gross Domestic Product), all sitting members of Congress are ineligible for re-election."

What a concept!  But, it will never happen!  The same incompetents who have screwed things up, would be the ones required to pass the law.

Oh well, a bit of humor to stall the tears, right.

It's About Friendship

This post isn't about guitars or amps.  It's about a friendship that started nearly 65 years ago, when I was a first grader.

My friend Jim lived a couple blocks away and we were pretty much inseparable throughout our school days.  We did all the normal kid stuff, and then some, when in grade school.  We learned about girls and other fun stuff in junior high.  We made money delivering sheep manure for lawn fertilizer, when in high school.  We played sports, and even drank a beer or two, trying to become young adults.  But, the most memorable thing Jim recalls about our friendship was that I used to draw horses for him . . . lots of horses.  We each loved the nags, but Jim really did have a natural and keen equestrian interest.  To this day, so many years later, he still enjoys that interest, by raising world class Quarter Horses at his New Mexico home.

So, you're asking, where is this going?

Well, after high school, Jim and I went separate directions and I lost track of him, until just a few months ago, when we reconnected, after more than fifty years.  We now write each other often, and Jim recently reminded me of his appreciation for the drawings I did for him.  I really had no idea, but it is a nice feeling to know, that after all the years, he remembered and cared.

The drawing below, which Jim is holding, is the first I've done in years, and I did it especially for my friend.

It's about friendship!

Don't Mess With An Old Gunny!

The Defense Department found that several branches of the military had too many non-commissioned officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. 

The DOD promised any military non-com, who volunteered for early retirement, a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body.  The early retirees got to choose what those two points would be.

The first participant, an Army Staff Sergeant accepted the bonus and asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes.  He measured out at six feet  tall and walked away with a bonus of $72,000.

Next to accept the bonus was a Navy Petty Officer, who was a little smarter.  He asked to be measured from the tips of his outstretched hands to his toes.  He walked away with $96,000.

The third to take the early-out was a grizzly old Marine Gunnery Sergeant who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles, sonny!"

It was suggested by the officer administering the retirement bonus, that the Gunny might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice large payouts the previous two shorttimers had received.  But, the old Gunny insisted and they decided to go along with him, provided the measurement was taken by a Navy Medical Officer.

The Navy Doc arrived and instructed the Gunny to 'drop 'em', which the Gunny did.

The Doc placed a tape measure at the tip of the Gunny's weenie and began to work back.

"Dear Lord!", the Navy Doc cried, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Gunny smiled and calmly replied, "Afghanistan."

I love this country!

It's the government that scares hell outta me!

Back At It

Summer always brings opportunity . . . to mow grass, water foliage, putter around the flower garden, paint the winter deterioration, cook out, and perhaps to enjoy a vacation or short getaway. 

And, all this gets in the way of my real fun . . . building guitars and amps.

But, yesterday I roughed out 50 guitar necks.  The bulk of the lot is walnut, but some maple, oak and cherry round out the assortment.  The final layout and design will come with the individual cigar box or, in some cases, my own  box design.  So, I'm back in the game, to heck watering.

There are a lot of options for final guitar design . . . the casual or rustic approach, to the more refined and 'finished' result.  I lean toward the 'finished' result, but that is only because I'm more comfortable in that arena. 

I'm sure I could do the 'rustic' thing just fine, but I'm having trouble getting my head around where to begin and what elements with which to work.  It seems pretty straight forward, especially after viewing what many builders display on a couple of the more popular web sites. 

But, I think if the result is to be acceptable to me, I cannot just slap tuners onto a slab of wood, which I stick into a cigar box with sound holes drilled into the surface, lay on a couple bolts for a nut and bridge, and feel good about what I've done.

Don't get me wrong!  I like the primitive look (especially the stuff I see on Cigar Box Guitars Australia), and I want to try it.  But, not today.  Maybe tomorrow, if tomorrow ever comes.

Don't ask me why I'm dancing around about it, I cannot tell ya!

Grammas Can Be A Hoot!

Years ago, I was bringing my wife to vist my grandmother.

 Grandma never remembered that I had visited her often, so she reminded me where she lived.

"You come-a da front door of da apartmenta.  I'm inna apartmenta 301.  There issa bigga panel at da fronta door.  Witha you elbow, pusha da button 301.  I willa buzza you in."

"Come-a inside, da elevator issa on da right.  Getta in, an witha you elbow, pusha 3."

"When-a you getta out, I'm-a on-a da left.  Witha you elbow, hit-a my bell."

"Grandma," I said, "That sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"

"What!, you come-a witha you hands empty?"

Grandpa's Know Best!

My grandfather was aging, and with that came certain discussions, which were sometimes uncomfortable.

He took me aside one day and said, "Sonny, I wanna' you lissina me!  I wanna' you to take-a my chrome-a plate .38 pistol, so you always remember-a me."

"But grandpa, I cried, I really don't like guns.  How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy!  Somma day, you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home, and maybe a whole lota bambinos."

"Somma day, you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.  Whatta you gonna do then?  Pointa to you watch and say, 'time up'?"

A Must View!

http://www.youtube.com/v/ervaMPt4Ha0&autoplay=1

Please view this presentation created by a 15-year-old girl, who has more character than many decades older.

Our troops need our support!

Brittany's New Axe

The old adage, which proclaims, "It is better to give, than to receive", is true!  How do I know this?

Well, read the response from Brittany Saulsberry (a US Navy Corpsman stationed at Bastion Hospital in Afghanistan), which I received recently thanking me for making a guitar for her, and look at her photo . . . the question will answer itself.

I was very busy building other guitars and amps when Brittany asked for a guitar, so I promised her one, which I had made for my personal collection.  She enthusiastically said, "Yes".  I was relieved to be able to get something to her soon, and she was happy, too.  Read her response.

Hello Jess,

I got it finally.  I got it right when I made it back to the other base, coming from Chapel . . . I was so excited.  When I get on my own computer, I will email you pictures of me opening it and playing. 

A British officer already taught me a twelve bar.  He said that after a few times he is going to add in more for the song. 

Thank you so much, and thank you for being kind while I was sick (I wished her well when she was ill), I feel so much better and I have not stopped smiling.

I'm going to see if the shop personnel could make me a case for the guitar.

Well, you have a blessed night, and I will talk to you later.

Respectfully yours,
Hm3 Saulsberry