Grandpa's Know Best!

My grandfather was aging, and with that came certain discussions, which were sometimes uncomfortable.

He took me aside one day and said, "Sonny, I wanna' you lissina me!  I wanna' you to take-a my chrome-a plate .38 pistol, so you always remember-a me."

"But grandpa, I cried, I really don't like guns.  How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy!  Somma day, you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home, and maybe a whole lota bambinos."

"Somma day, you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.  Whatta you gonna do then?  Pointa to you watch and say, 'time up'?"