Thoughts To Get You Through A Crisis!

• Indecision is the key to flexibility.
• There is always one more S.O.B. than you counted on.
• If you ever find something you like, buy a lifetime supply, 'cause they'll stop making it.
• All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
• You can't tell which way the train went, by looking at the tracks.
• Be kind!  Everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle.
• This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
• The is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
• By the time you can make ends meet, the ends have been moved.
• Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
• Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
• Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
• The facts, though interesting, are irrelevant.
• The world gets a little better every day, and worse in the evening . . . just watch the news.
• The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
• Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
• Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
• Things are more like they are today than they have ever been before.
• The other line always moves faster, until you get into it.
• Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
• Everything should be made simple as possible, but no simpler.
• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• It's hard to be nostalgic, when you can't remember anything.
• I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
• To live forever, acquire a chronic disease and take care of it.
• Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
• If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
• The more you run over a dead cat the flatter it gets.
• It takes a big dog to weigh a ton.
• And, you don't screw around with a momma that can whoop ya . . . ask the guy in the photo.